OK… Listen up my dear friends… You know what I have been through the last few months. The flight that was my life started losing altitude in November, crash landing on January 13th with the loss of the woman that meant everything to me. Then came the struggle for me to get out of the craft before it burst into flames and consumed me totally.
Getting out of the wreckage is not easy, as you first of all are in shock by what just happened, and that you somehow are still standing, albeit in a pile of rubble that used to be your life. The rubble is not the hard part. All that, can and will be rebuilt better, stronger and more enduring. The hard part was losing what was precious and irreplaceable.
Coming to terms with that and beginning to heal is the challenge. Until you face full on and come to terms with the loss, you will never heal well. Yesterday, in very private and personal ways, I came to terms with that loss. I wore my lungs out … and my voice. I let it all out until there was no more to let out. Then I sat down, and asked God to speak Truth to me. He did. What He spoke to me about His love, freed me from the need to find that love in another person. Believe me when I tell you… that is very liberating! It frees you to have healthy, loving relationships that thrive in an atmosphere of joy vs. need based, conditional relationships that withdraw more than they deposit.
So last night I went to dinner with a very special friend. It was the Greek restaurant Acropolis in Ybor City, Florida. What a fun place! Greek music. Greek folk dancing. Had a blast! I was so aware of the pain being gone from within me, it was all I could do to not get up and dance with the folk dancers! I was having fun and it felt great! But would it still be there in the morning?
A resounding YES! I woke up at 4:44 AM today and felt great. Something big had truly happened inside me. My circumstances hadn’t changed a bit, but my perspective had. My pain was gone! I’ll be tender for awhile, but man o man, admitting and facing the pain and then allowing God to speak to that pain and heal it, is indescribably exhilarating. I found myself dancing in the kitchen while making me a triple cappuccino with French Vanilla creamer and a dusting of cinnamon this morning! (My friends call it MikeBucks)
I put on my favorite worship music and opened an email from Neill Newton, chairman and founder of Global Flying Hospitals one of the most visionary men of our time with a mission worth supporting if you possibly can. His words to me confirmed what God had been saying to me. It’s time to move into STRENGTH. I did what I promised myself I would do… I grieved deeply! But I also promised I would not grieve endlessly. My season of DEEP grief is over. No doubt, I will be tender for awhile, but I am no longer in critical care. I was released yesterday.
Now it is time to lead … to step into the new thing. I will tell you more about that in upcoming blogs but let me tell you something I believe God finally answered for me… I had often wondered why I would blog to you during the trial of my life… why I would share my losses, my pains and my personal victories. Why go to that effort? Why take that risk?
I really didn’t know the answer except to say that I felt God’s great pleasure when I did. Today, He told me more about that. He is taking me down a path of freedom this year in areas of finance and business and He is going to invite you to come along with me. My life will be a living example of rebuilding from the ashes. Many of you are in that place and you will be invited to come along with me. Any takers? Let’s take back our lives, our vision, our destiny and possess the gates of our enemies in 2010!
Special thanks to my incredible friend, Joe Johnson, for taking me out last night to that Greek restaurant. You are a rare friend Joe and I love you and Lindsay beyond words!